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What To Do When Your Partner Finds Condoms Painful


Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.

To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’, every Friday. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.

The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr Jain explains possible reasons for pain while using condoms and how to alleviate that.

In India, condoms are the most common contraception and the easiest way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), but there are times when you or your partner may feel pain while using a condom.

Although most condoms are safe and comfortable, some may cause pain or discomfort because of latex allergies, presence of a compound called nonoxynol-9 (N-9), or lack of proper lubrication. In few cases, these issues could also lead to yeast and bacterial infections.

Some possible causes for condoms to hurt you are:

• Less lubrication or vagina is not moist enough

• Latex allergy

• Using old or expired condoms

Further, some women don’t like condoms because they make sex uncomfortable or even painful. If you fall in this category, these recommendations may help you.

1. Use lubricated condoms: Lubricated condoms are latex condoms that you can find in most medical stores. They may be lubricated with spermicides or a non-spermicidal lubricant. However, most lubricated condoms don’t contain enough lubricant for sex. Along with them, you can use natural (water-based or silicon-based) lubricants. Just make sure they don’t carry N-9, which is known to cause irritation.

2. Add more lubrication to condoms: Lube is never too much because it is an easy way to not only make sex better but also reduce friction and pain. When using a lubricated or non-lubricated condom, you might want to use additional lubricant. Proper lubrication can make sex safer and sexier. Lubing the condom makes penetration less painful.

3. Use condoms other than latex: The easiest thing you can do is use non-latex condoms. While latex condoms are most common, but condoms made of materials like polyurethane and polyisoprene have also become popular in the last few years.

• Polyurethane condoms: Swapping your regular condoms with polyurethane ones might help because they are latex-free and provide protection against STDs. If that’s not reason enough, you can also use oil-based lubricants with these condoms.

• Polyisoprene condoms: These condoms are made of synthetic latex, which considerably reduces chances of allergy. The experience is similar to a traditional latex condom.

4. Try different condom brands: If your partner complains of irritation when you use a particular brand of condom, then you should consider trying an alternative brand. The irritation can make your partner uncomfortable; worse, it can also leave her vulnerable to urinary tract infection and bacterial vaginosis.

5. Use condoms for women: The use of female condom is also effective against allergies. Because you are using polyurethane or polyether, rubber allergy is ruled out. Female condom is a flexible, soft plastic pouch which is inserted into the vagina with a flexible ring coated with a silicone lubricant. The level of protection against pregnancy and STD is similar to other condoms.

6. Store condoms in right place: Condoms should be stored in a cool, dry place and should not be used after expiration date. Condoms stored in wallets or glove compartments beyond their use-by dates can come out stiff and dry. Not only will they be hard to put on and uncomfortable to use, they won’t be safe either.

7. Help your partner relax: When pressure is applied on the vagina, it may increase friction and one can experience pain. Due to tension, the vagina becomes tight, making penetration difficult. Help your partner relax – try foreplay.

Finally, it is also possible that you have become so conditioned to using condoms that the discomfort you feel is psychological. Consult a health professional for more information on latex-free protection during sex. If you have an allergy, your doctor can advice you on the best option for you and your partner.



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