Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
The column is being written by Sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In today’s column, Dr Jain explains everything you’ve ever wanted to know about erotic hypnosis.
What Is Erotic Hypnosis and How Does It Work?
There’s no denying that you’ve heard of hypnotism before. In movies, they often show people using hypnotism to control others’ minds. But in reality, hypnotism can be used for a lots of things like helping anxiety, relieving fears, and getting rid of bad habits.
It can also improve your sex life. It’s a powerful tool for exploring your sexual and erotic self. Let’s look at what it means, how to do it, and whether it is real or not.
What Is Erotic Hypnosis?
Erotic hypnosis or hypno-sex is a form of hypnosis that increases sexual desire and sexual responses. This means that if you have trouble connecting with your partner during sex, reaching orgasm or allowing yourself to reach orgasm during sex, or staying in the moment, erotic hypnosis could actually help you.
It can also be used for many things, such as:
• to help someone struggling with sexual trauma, low libido, or dysfunction
• to enhance connection during lovemaking
• a tool during a BDSM scene
• to intensify orgasm
Is Erotic Hypnosis Real?
Yes, if you believe that normal hypnosis works and can be used to help someone recollect a memory they’ve locked away or help them overcome a trauma, you can believe it can be used to achieve a better orgasm too. If you’ve found an expert with whom you feel comfortable in the hypnosis world, then you can surely see results.
How Does Erotic Hypnosis Work?
First, erotic hypnosis is much like normal hypnosis, with a therapist guiding you into a state of complete relaxation as you learn how to do proper breathing. The expert will then softly start talking to you in a way that will melt all your worries away.
Once you are in that state of relaxation, your inhibitions and consciousness which cause us to be shy and guarded are lowered. Because your guard is now down, you may enjoy and experience things that you always prevented yourself from doing.
Technically, the expert doing the hypnotising will talk you through a scenario, which you will accept wholeheartedly. For example, once you have agreed on safe words and boundaries, an erotic hypnotist who will work on increasing your libido or help you reach an orgasm, might put you in a trance where you’ll feel more aroused. (But the erotic hypnotist will not touch you at all.)
However, when you’re under a trance, the hypnotist might provide a physical sense of comfort and security as you revisit the memory. You and the expert will then work through the issues in real time and you’ll be able to learn different coping mechanisms.
How Do You Get Started?
To get started, take some time to think about what your sexual goals are and why you want to try erotic hypnotism. If you want to explore sexual desires, a sexual hypnotist is what you should look for, but if you want to seek help overcoming sexual dysfunction or sexual trauma, a regular hypnotist can help. In the beginning, you may have trouble finding someone since the erotic hypnosis community is not publicised.
When you meet a hypnotist and feel you are uncomfortable with them, find someone else. And remember, if someone’s an actual professional, they will have no issues answering as many questions as you have. Discuss with them what you want to achieve in your sessions. If you don’t want to explore a past sexual trauma or sex act that you don’t enjoy, then they will steer clear of that too.
What Should You Keep in Mind When Starting out?
Consent and boundaries are a must when exploring erotic hypnosis and should be discussed before diving into any session. You should discuss preferences, soft limits and hard limits in advance.
If you and your partner are working with an erotic hypnotist and they are teaching your dominant partner how to hypnotise you, a boundary might be that you and your partner will not have sexual intercourse in their office or in front of them.
Another boundary you could establish is not to be naked in front of your hypnotist. Although it might be the ultimate goal to fully trust your hypnotist, you should not let them do whatever they like from the word go. Take time to build trust and you’ll reap the benefits.
What If It Doesn’t Work?
Nothing is completely guaranteed. Being hypnotised can be more difficult if you do not trust the hypnotist and are sceptical of the process. Hypnosis involves learning and you will have to commit to that process.
Also, participate in aftercare after your hypnotic play date. Discuss and resolve any issues. Discuss how things went, what worked well and what did not, so the next experience can be even better.
