A person wants to be in a relationship because they want someone to stand by them through thick and thin and share memorable moments of their life with them. Most of the relationships do not succeed because people give up on each other when things become tough. They don’t commit easily due to commitment issues, among other factors. Many times, people expect their partner to change for them, however, they themselves are not willing to change their behavior or habits for their relationship. This brings a lot of toxicity to the table. This is one of the many factors that make a relationship immature.
In a recent post, Dr Nicole LePera shared her perception of what people are looking for in a relationship and how one can achieve it.
<blockquote class=”instagram-media” data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-permalink=”https://www.instagram.com/p/CePXSsAP9vU/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading” data-instgrm-version=”14″ style=” background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540px; min-width:326px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% – 2px); width:calc(100% – 2px);”><div style=”padding:16px;”> <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/p/CePXSsAP9vU/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading” style=” background:#FFFFFF; line-height:0; padding:0 0; text-align:center; text-decoration:none; width:100%;” target=”_blank”> <div style=” display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;”> <div style=”background-color: #F4F4F4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;”></div> <div style=”display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;”> <div style=” background-color: #F4F4F4; 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overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;”><a href=”https://www.instagram.com/p/CePXSsAP9vU/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading” style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none;” target=”_blank”>A post shared by Dr. Nicole LePera (@the.holistic.psychologist)</a></p></div></blockquote> <script async src=”//www.instagram.com/embed.js”></script>
She shared multiple tips about how one should treat their partner equally and try not to control them. She captioned the post: “In reality, we are all much more alike + similar than we think. At our core, we all want the same thing. TO BE LOVED FOR WHO WE (ACTUALLY) ARE. To be seen. To be heard. To have the freedom to be on our own journey without someone trying to control us.”
She added: “We’ve had conditional, transactional love that only comes when we are ‘good’. Or when we achieve. Or when we do something someone wants us to do. Mature love is a safe space to grow, evolve, + to return back to the truth of who we are.”
She also mentioned in that “mature love comes when we wake up. When we face ourselves. When we heal from our past to create a new future.”
Dr LePera further claimed that people have forgotten what mature love is and love these days comes with conditions where we expect our partner to reciprocate our efforts which should not be the case.
According to her, to be in a relationship, a person must take responsibility for their own actions and learn new, healthier ways to deal with their own emotions. She also mentioned how one should be direct about the things that they want rather than expect their partner to read their mind. She suggests people intentionally create moments to laugh, play, and be silly because relationships require a lot of work and can be very triggering at times.
Communication is the key to keeping a relationship healthy. Nicole advises that one should have a conversation with their partner, even if it is difficult, to avoid resentment. She also says that one must give their partner the freedom to be their authentic self and push them into becoming the best version of themselves.
