A couple of years ago, when a book of mine was coming out, I was asked by this leading newspaper for an interview. The only reason this could have happened was because it was a slow day in the obit page, and they had space to fill. After a long wait, I got a WhatsApp message from a young journo. It said ‘Here are the questions. You have one hour to respond.’ I answered the questions but decided it was best not to have the interview published. I think the time has come now though for it to see the light of day. (I’m guessing this kid is the editor of the paper now. How can she not be, considering her insight, the depth of her research, and her journalistic fervour.)
Q:Â Tell us something about your book.
It is a Family-Based-South-Indian-Melodramatic-Espionage-Musical-Revenge Saga. It could just as easily have been described as a Multi-Layered-Edge-of-the-Toilet-Seat Adventure featuring a TeluguBrahm Lover/Fighter with Mommy Issues, set in Exotic Locales, with two Flashbacks and one Item Number. Take your pick.
Q:Â When did you decide to become a writer?
In Class 3, Pattu Miss told me I had good handwriting. That was when I knew I had to become a writer.
Q:Â Do you have any particular rituals while writing or do you have a favourite place you write from?
Yes, I swallow a tiny ball made of ashwagandha churnam and isabgol mixed in ghee before I write. It gives clarity. And I need to sit at my favourite place when I’m writing. It is the sapota tree in my neighbour Guptaji’s house. They chopped it down recently (while I was still on it.) Which may be the reason for my current writer’s block.
Q: You say you write humour. Is it difficult to make people laugh? Also, what made you choose comedy as a style?
It is difficult to make people laugh. I don’t know why people are so stingy with their ‘lol’s and ‘rofl’s. Especially at funerals and Carnatic music concerts. See, comedy isn’t something one chooses. Comedy chooses you. And it chose me when I was about four when I spontaneously told my kindergarten teacher a joke about two sailors, a libidinous plumber and a bipolar zebra which resulted in my being expelled with immediate effect.
Q:Â What are your favourite books and do you have a favourite author?
I have two favourite books. One is The Madras Telephone Directory, 1986. The other is Padma Lakshmi’s Tangy Tart Hot & Sweet. My favourite author is Jeremiah Kishkindan. He is yet to be published. But he is already banned.
Q:Â If your book becomes a movie, whom would you want to play the hero and the heroine?
 Shakti Kapoor and Gal Gadot. Alternatively, Thengai Srinivasan in both roles.
Q:Â What is your most favourite part about the writing profession?
When my editor praises me after I have completed her son’s holiday homework two days ahead of my deadline.
Q:Â What is your least favourite part about the writing profession?
The part where the accounts department sends me a statement of my sales return signed with an ‘LOL!!’ at the bottom.
Q:Â What is your best marketing tip to other aspiring writers?
Always carry ten copies of your book (minimum) wherever you go. Public toilets, accident sites, funerals, street corners, trains, planes, hospitals – they are all potential venues for a quick reading and the sale of a few copies of your book. A hanky dipped in chloroform in your pocket helps, too, as a persuasive aid.
Krishna Shastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has written four books and edited an anthology.
