The tendency to choose emotionally unavailable partners often stems from a disconnection with oneself. (Image: Shutterstock)
A lot of people often see a pattern in themselves while choosing emotionally unavailable partners but this is a complete self sabotage and even though it will take some time it is best to come out of this reemerging pattern
Love can be a complex journey, and many of us find ourselves repeatedly drawn to partners who are emotionally unavailable. In an insightful Instagram post titled “4 Reasons Why You Keep Choosing Emotionally Unavailable Partners,” psychotherapist Sadaf Siddiqi sheds light on this phenomenon. By delving into these underlying reasons, we can gain the power to break free from this cycle and cultivate healthier relationships. Let’s explore the four common reasons why individuals often find themselves attracted to emotionally unavailable partners.
According to Sadaf Siddiqi, here are some important things to keep in mind:
- The Fixer Mentality:
One reason you may consistently choose emotionally unavailable partners is that you possess a natural inclination to help and fix people. You help those who appear to need your care and support. Your empathetic nature desires to provide the love and understanding that they seem to lack. However, it is important to recognise that a relationship built solely on the desire to fix someone is not sustainable. Focus on building connections that are based on mutual emotional availability. - Familiarity from Childhood:
Another reason you may be attracted to emotionally unavailable partners is rooted in your upbringing. If your caregivers or parents were frequently unavailable during your childhood years, you may inadvertently seek out similar dynamics in your adult relationships. By recognising this pattern, you can choose to break free from it and seek partners who are capable of emotional intimacy. - Disconnection with Yourself:
The tendency to choose emotionally unavailable partners often stems from a disconnection with oneself. When one struggles to understand and connect with their own emotions, they may unconsciously gravitate towards partners who exhibit similar emotional detachment. This familiarity or sense of comfort can be misleading. To cultivate healthier relationships, it is crucial to develop a greater sense of self-awareness. By prioritising your own emotional well-being and fostering a deeper understanding of your own emotions, you will be empowered to recognize and pursue emotionally available partners. - Your Own Emotional Unavailability:
Lastly, it is important to acknowledge that there may be a part of you that is emotionally unavailable. It’s possible that you harbour unresolved emotional wounds or fear vulnerability. As a result, you may unconsciously seek partners who reflect this emotional unavailability. Engaging in self-reflection can help you identify any emotional barriers that may be preventing you from maintaining healthy relationships.
By choosing emotionally available partners and investing in your own emotional well-being, you can foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships and pave the way for a brighter and happier future.
