Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
In this article, we will share some thoughts to balance different sex drives and make your life something that enriches both of you.
When two partners have mismatched libidos and sex drives, things can get difficult
When it comes to sex, everybody’s got an opinion. Some say it’s the most intimate, spiritual experience two people can share; others view it as a purely physical act. Whatever your opinion, one thing is clear: when two partners have mismatched libidos and sex drives, things can get difficult.
Maybe you feel like you have too little time for sex, or one partner is constantly initiating with the other feeling less than enthusiastic. Perhaps differences in drive make it hard to get on the same page when you’re both busy and stressed out and the less aroused partner sometimes feels pressure to keep up with the other’s desire.
What Is Mismatched Libido?
If you and your partner don’t share the same libido, it can be a tricky situation to navigate. After all, sex is an important part of any relationship. But with mismatched libidos, it’s easy to become frustrated with each other or worse, avoid the topic altogether.
So, what is mismatched libido? It’s when one person in the relationship has higher or lower sexual desire than their partner. In some cases, one person may not feel any desire whatsoever, while the other craves intimacy and connection. This mismatch of sexual needs can cause stress and confusion in relationships but there are ways to make it work.
Why Mismatched Libidos Can Cause Problems in Relationships?
Mismatched libidos are a common issue in relationships. One partner may want sex more frequently than the other, and this can lead to frustration and tension. This lack of sexual harmony can damage the bond between two people, leading to feelings of rejection, anger, and resentment.
In addition to creating emotional distance between partners, mismatched libidos can also lead to physical distance. As partners become less sexually in sync with each other, they may begin seeking out sexual satisfaction from outside sources. This not only can have devastating consequences for the relationship, but it can also create a sense of insecurity and distrust. The good news is that mismatched libidos can be managed and even turned into a blessing if both partners are willing to work together. With open communication and understanding, you can find ways to make your sex life fulfilling while honouring each other’s needs and desires.
Ways to Identify Each Other’s Needs and Wants
If you and your partner have mismatched libidos, it doesn’t mean that sex has to suffer. In fact, the key to improving your sex life is learning how to identify each other’s needs and wants. When you know what turns your partner on, it can help you to better balance out the differences in libido and make sure everyone feels satisfied. But how do you go about figuring out what your partner’s desires? Here are a few tips:
- Talk openly about sex. Open communication is key when it comes to understanding each other’s needs and wants in the bedroom. So, make sure to have honest conversations with your partner about what they like and don’t like in the bedroom.
- Get creative with date nights. Try going out on different dates than usual or trying something totally new together—like taking a cooking class or going to a comedy show—to explore each other’s interests and get closer as a couple outside of the bedroom as well.
- Experiment with intimacy activities before intercourse. It can be helpful to focus on activities that build intimacy before getting into any kind of sexual exploration, such as kissing, touching, massage or even just looking into each other’s eyes for an extended moment of connection—it could give you both insight into how the other one likes to be touched, verbally appreciated or affectionately engaged with during sex play.
By exploring these activities together, you’ll be better able to identify each other’s needs and wants so that you can make sure both of your libidos stay balanced out during sex!
Actions to Take When Problems Persist Despite Efforts
If you and your partner have tried to compromise and experiment with each other’s desires or ideas, but still can’t reach a balance, then there are other measures you can take to make your sex life a blessing.
Get Professional Help
In some cases, it might be best for you and your partner to get professional help. Consider seeking the advice of a sex therapist who can help guide you in making decisions on how to bridge the gap.
Open Up About Your Needs
Another method is to start openly talking about what you two need in order to make the relationship work. This may seem like an easier option than therapy but can often lead to more honest conversations and bring both of your needs out into the open.
Be Patient
It’s important for both partners to be patient with each other. It may take some time for both of you feel truly satisfied with satisfying each other’s desires – so don’t give up just because it isn’t happening immediately! With time, patience, understanding, and good communication about what works for both of you, reaching a mutual balance should eventually be possible!
The best way to manage mismatched libidos is to communicate openly and honestly about your needs and desires, be open to compromise, and approach the issue with an understanding of your partner’s needs as well.
Take some time to explore the root causes of your libido disparity, and make use of techniques that can help you both find a balance. With patience, understanding, and open communication, you can make your sex life a blessing. It’s possible to bridge the gap between mismatched libidos and find a way to have a fulfilling and enjoyable sex life.
Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain is the winner of the Swasth Bharat Rattan Award and is a Certified and Licensed Sexologist by the American Board of Sexology. He is currently a Senior Consultant at Dr SK Jain’s Burlington Clinic in Lucknow. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not represent the stand of this publication.
