Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
In this article, we will take a deep dive into cunnilingus and how to become an expert in arousing a woman with oral pleasure.
Have you ever wanted to explore the depths of pleasure with your partner, but been unsure where to start? Look no further! Cunnilingus is the perfect way to start exploring, connecting with, and pleasuring a woman.
What Is Cunnilingus?
Cunnilingus is an intimate act between a lover and their partner. It is the pleasure of giving oral sex to a woman, specifically the act of stimulating her clitoris, vulva and labia with your tongue and lips. It’s an important part of any sexual relationship and can be a great way to spice things up in the bedroom. The art of cunnilingus is all about listening – listen carefully for feedback from your partner so that you can adjust accordingly for maximum pleasure! To understand how it works, it’s helpful to think of the body as an interconnected web. What you do on one part can affect another, even if they feel far away from each other. When it comes to oral pleasure, stimulating one part of the body can trigger arousal in another area.
For example, caressing a woman’s thighs with your hands and your mouth will cause her clitoris to become more sensitive and receptive. The same is true for stimulating her stomach or breasts — when done correctly, this will increase her sensitivity and help to bring her closer to achieving arousal.
How to Talk About Cunnilingus with Your Partner
When it comes to talking about cunnilingus with your partner, it’s important to consider their feelings and be respectful. It can be intimidating to bring something new into the bedroom, so make sure to choose a time when you are both relaxed and open-minded. Here are a few things you can keep in mind:
• Let them know that the two of you share the same goal — to explore each other’s bodies and experience more pleasure together.
• Affirm your partner by letting them know that their body is beautiful and that you are eager to learn more about it.
• Respect your partner’s boundaries and limits; be mindful of what makes them uncomfortable or anxious.
• Ask questions! Everyone has different preferences when it comes to physical pleasure, so start off by asking what they like or what they would like replicated from a previous experience they enjoyed.
• Even if things don’t go exactly as planned, just remember that laughter can help make the process easier and possibly even more enjoyable!
Positions and Techniques for Cunnilingus
One of the most important elements of cunnilingus is exploring different angles and positions to best access and pleasure the woman’s delicate areas. With the right positioning, you can really dial in on her pleasure points. Here are a few of our favourite positions and techniques:
• The 69: This iconic position may seem like a no-brainer, as it allows for mutual oral stimulation. It can be an incredibly intimate position for you and your partner, but make sure to move slowly and steadily to ensure both parties are comfortable.
• The Twins: This position is simple yet effective: lay side-by-side with your partner and both of you should lay on your sides facing each other. This provides easy access to the clitoris from either angle, so experiment with different motions like licking or circular licking motions to find what works for your partner. Be sure to incorporate your tongue and fingers for maximum pleasure!
• Sitting Position: In this position, you can kneel in front of your partner while they lie back with their legs spread apart or draped across your shoulders/body. This is a great way to keep eye contact while going down on them, providing a sense of intimacy during the act. Use soft strokes with lots of pressure around her inner thighs and labia before using more direct contact with her clitoris.
Warning Signs That a Woman Is Not Enjoying Cunnilingus
When it comes to cunnilingus, communication is key. That’s why you should be on the lookout for warning signs that a woman is not enjoying your oral pleasure technique. Here are some of the key signs to watch for:
• Unresponsiveness: If she’s not actively involving herself in the pleasure you’re providing, it might be a sign that she’s not as into it as you are. Pay attention to subtle responses that indicate her arousal level, such as a light moan or slight movement of her hips.
• Lack of Eye Contact: Eye contact can tell us a lot about how someone is feeling, and if your partner is avoiding eye contact or keeps her eyes closed during cunnilingus, then she might not be enjoying it as much as you think she is.
• Verbal Disinterest: If she isn’t making any noise (except maybe to stop you) while you’re performing cunnilingus on her, then this can also be an indication that she isn’t enjoying it. Make sure she’s comfortable giving verbal feedback whether it’s compliments or requests, so that you know what works for her.
Cunnilingus can be an extremely arousing and pleasurable experience for both partners. It requires the receiver to trust their partner and the giver to be attentive to the receiver’s needs. Taking the time to understand female anatomy and the unique aspects of pleasure can create a highly gratifying experience for both. Everyone’s body is different and learning their individual likes, dislikes, and preferences is essential. All you need to do is be willing to experiment, be patient, and always remember to communicate. With the right attitude, you’ll be sure to create a beautiful and intimate experience with your partner.
Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain is the winner of the Swasth Bharat Rattan Award and is a Certified and Licensed Sexologist by the American Board of Sexology. He is currently a Senior Consultant at Dr SK Jain’s Burlington Clinic in Lucknow. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not represent the stand of this publication.
