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Follow These Tips To Deal With Emotional Unavailability


Last Updated: February 22, 2023, 10:30 IST


Those who are emotionally unavailable have trouble expressing or managing their feelings, as well as connecting emotionally with others.

Individuals can take a number of actions to hone their emotional availability skills, and here an expert offers some tips

Emotional availability refers to the ability to connect with and express emotions in a healthy and productive manner. But, there are few people who struggle with emotional availability. They often find it difficult to form and maintain close relationships and to effectively communicate with others.

What is Emotional Unavailability?

It refers to people who do not respond to emotional needs or cues. Those who suffer from emotional unavailability face difficulty in expressing or handling emotions, as well as getting emotionally close to others. For example, lack of emotional attachment is a sign of unavailability in any relationship.

Recently, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders shared a post suggesting a few simple steps that can help those who struggle with emotional availability. “Knowing you are someone who struggles to be emotionally available to others is a huge first step. That awareness is a big deal and there are many for whom this doesn’t register as a personal issue, who don’t realise their own lack of availability. So, if you’re frustrated with yourself, take a grain of hope from that,” Psychotherapist Sanders wrote.

There are several steps that individuals can undertake to help develop their emotional availability skills and Sanders has mentioned a few as mentioned below:

  1. Surround yourself or make friends with people who are in healthy relationships. During your interaction with them, keenly watch how they treat you and others. This will help you learn more about what a healthy relationship looks like.
  2. Focus on identifying safe people with whom you can practice sharing a bit more of yourself. When we open up to others, a sense of belonging and connection builds up. This can help to build emotional availability skills.
  3. Pay attention to how you interact with others. Push yourself to be more expressive and bring out more of ‘you’ while interacting with others.
  4. Practice noticing your feelings, this will help you to increase your ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress, and anxiety, and even overcome depression.
  5. Challenge yourself to put words to your feelings. It is important to address the emotions and feelings that you’re going through. This will bring clarity to your mind and heart.
  6. Get in touch with your feelings through different means. It can be through nature, music, observing art of any kind, enjoying a poem, or sharing funny memes. This can provide a safe and private outlet for expressing emotions that may be difficult to share with others.
  7. Remind yourself that vulnerability takes time as it is a long process and do not rush with it. Opening up to others does not happen with time, it will definitely require you to push yourself and actively engage in a conversation or relationship.
  8. Important to explore the root causes. This will help you to take care of yourself better.
  9. Being emotionally unavailable is a self-protective move, especially for those who have gone through or experienced neglect or trauma in their childhood.



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